Another Night of Terror/So Many Questions.

So, Z had an interesing night the other night. Well, last night I had one of my own.

It started with a normal asthma attack, I get them a lot. The coughing, the wheezing, the turning my room inside out looking for my inhaler. I finally found it, and used it. ... Nothing, I used it again... Still nothing. The medicine was coming out but it wasn't stopping my asthma. I don't know how many more times I used it, not too many like a druggie, but I just wasn't counting. I was crying. I was talking to Z already and we were trying to figure out what I could do. I think she was actually looking up things on the internet that I could do to make it better while we talked, but I'm not sure. I love her though. She was able to keep me fairly calm.

Finally, it got to the point where I had to tell my parents we were going to the hospital because I couldn't breathe. I kept praying to the Goddess and holding onto my teddy bear for dear life. The whole ride there I was fighting tears. But the most interesting thing happens when I get there.

I was sitting there, while the actually-kind nurse took my information down, and I was staring down the empty, dimly-lit halls. I felt death lingering, breathing down my neck. How the shadows were sitting, they were cloaking death itself. I could see death in them, just past them, hiding and waiting. I almost burst out in tears. I was terrified. I could feel death's fingers trailing along my skin, I could see shackles hanging, waiting for me in my mind's eye. The Angel of Death brings with it a thick shroud and last night I was immersed. It was odd, usually death in my mind is a peaceful, beautiful, almost kind thing. Where you can pass along to a happier place and rest. But last night it was something of evil. It was like the mask had come off and instead of looking at a kind old lady I could see the succubus with her gray, tight skin and pointed teeth, with black, endless eyes and long, stringy black hair. She was beautiful in a demonic way.

I was even closer to bursting into tears at this point. It was all so close, coming for me, and I couldn't breathe. I prayed to the God to keep death away, to protect me from that demon I never want to see again. Then I prayed to the Goddess to comfort me, to keep me strong and help me breathe. Then I felt them, around me. The Goddess with her arms around me, holding me like a true mother. The God standing before me, daring death to come near me, to touch me again, ready to release his wrath. I could see them. For the first time in my life I actually saw them. Was I really that close to dying? I suppose so. I was calm again, though. I felt safe even though I still couldn't breathe.

I looked around, absently answering the nurse's questions, and I saw another person. I knew he'd come with the God and Goddess. And... in a strange way he was overwhelmingly familiar. I looked at him, directly in his eyes, and I felt the rest of the word disappear. Somehow, I was still answering the nurse's questions, going through the movements. I somehow loved him instantly. I knew he was the one who always came and wrapped his arms around me when I was scared or sad or confused, even though I could never see him, never feel his tight embrace, I knew he was always there and here I was staring into his beautiful eyes. He smiled, a beautiful smile I will never forget, and the nurse called my attention back to her.

We walked to the room I'd be cured in and the nurse went through all the steps with my rag-doll of a body. I was tired. I wanted to sleep and dream of the nameless love. His handsome face. His sparkling eyes and flawless smile and the comfort he brought with him. He was gone though, so was the God and Goddess. I was alone again but I didn't feel death biting at my heels anymore. I was treated completely, made better, talked with the doctor and told I needed steroids.

I fell asleep dreaming of his face and his smile and the cloud of comfort that surrounded him. I fell asleep wondering who he was. And I woke up this morning sad to have to have left him.

I'm sorry it was so long! My heart to you all!
Lots of Love and Love you Lots!
Blessed Be
-Leyla.