Lughnasadh

I should have written about this earlier, but I'm writing it now, so it's not a huge loss.

This Lughnasadh was very lovely! My sister, Noga, spent the night at my house. We sang together by the creek and went for a long walk on some trails. For dinner, we had foods that are associated with our first harvest, such as cornbread.
It had been a while since I'd last seen my younger sister, so spending time with her was so nice. It was also the first sabbat I'd actually celebrated with a pagan sister! As time goes on, I'm hoping that my sisters and I will be able to celebrate all the sabbats together.

How was your Lughnasadh, everyone?

Sabbats by Edain McCoy

So I work at a large-chain bookstore part-time and I'm able to check books out like at the library. I checked out Sabbats by Edain McCoy one day. I'm not a huge McCoy fan, but I liked what I saw as far as recipes and craft ideas in the book. My gods! I loved the book and had to buy it! It has so much good history and so many recipes and crafts in it. I checked quite a bit of the history online from different sources and most of it seems pretty accurate. There are rituals and guided meditations inside, as well, though I'm not much into those. I create my own rituals, instead....
Anyway, I really recommend this book if you're looking for good ideas for celebrating the sabbats each year.

Blessings to all.

Zahra

Summer Solstice

Greetings everyone! I see we have a few more followers to the blog - Welcome!
I know it's been a while and it probably will be a while after this post before I write another one, so I won't mention time again. It gets redundant and having no time to write is the way of this world these days....
My summer solstice was a bit of a hard one, as it was the last day I saw a dear friend of mine before he left to join the Navy. I wouldn't say that I celebrated, though I wouldn't say it was a bad day, either. I learned a lot and every day, be it hard or happy, changes me. Unfortunately, I didn't shield very well and so every emotion that others felt hit me hard. I, of course, was clueless until later when I realized what was going on, and was wondering why I was feeling such strong dread and depression that day. I knew it couldn't have been my own emotion and it wasn't.
I know from experience that the Sabbats open me up to different perceptions and things, so next time I'm sure I'll be aware enough to shield and know the difference between what is happening inside me and what is happening inside others.
So this Solstice really was a blessing, even if it didn't feel very good at the time.

How was your Summer Solstice, everyone?

As far as other things go, I've been super busy working two jobs, and that is the main reason I have not been able to write on my blogs. Soon I'm looking to get internet at home again, so I'll have more time after work to relax and write before bed (I usually have to go to the library to get online).

I hope all is well with all of you.
Lots of love and love you lots.

Beltane

Dear me, so much for not disappearing in the blog-world! So sorry....
So May 1st was Beltane, as I'm sure all of you know. Because it was also the birthday of one of my siblings, and because the grass is green (ahh, lovely), I wanted to have a special celebration.
I took my time with all that I did, and yet, I accomplished so much and felt so wonderful....
I went and spoke with one of my employers about my summer job-to-be. I went to the gas station for a few more things for the celebration. I crocheted (Oh yes, and I learned to crochet the week before from a book) some ribbon together in a circle and took it to the park. Then I stuck grasses and dandelions and twigs in it to make a small door wreath. I also found a lovely blackbird's feather and a pinecone, which I attached. I baked a lemon cake with lemon cream cheese frosting. I started a bonfire in our firepit. I did the dishes, cleaned the bathroom and my bedroom, all the while playing with the puppy.
Ohh, it was such a beautiful day! So peaceful! It was a little chilly outside, but it didn't affect me any.
My brother got home from work and we had hotdogs over the fire, salad, chips and salsa, cake. We played with the puppy more.
I went to bed peaceful. Thank the gods and goddesses for the most perfect Beltane I've ever experienced. Thank the faeries and wandering spirits for their most sweet attitude toward me and mine.

I hope you all had a lovely Beltane, as well. Hugs to the world!

Long Time....

I know, I know! I haven't written for a long time, but (here come the lame excuses) I haven't had internet so I have to go to the library to get online and I keep forgetting and ... stuff....
Hush, I'm back. Mostly.
In witchy news, one of my sisters has decided to become a witch! After over a year of debating, she finally (happily, I might add) became a Christian witch. Her name, Neviah, is Hebrew for 'Prophetess'. That should tell you quite a bit about her. Mayhap I can get her to write here, as well!
I finally was able to go on a Sunday hike with Witch-N-Bitch last weekend, which was very lovely. I was so determined to go to class the following Tuesday, but forgot until 10pm when it was over. Buggrit! Next time, I hope!
That is about all that is new in my witchy world right now. What about all of you?

Going Insane

Last Sunday, I was at Witch-N-Bitch in town and I was explaining why I wanted to become insane on my birthday. I want to drop all of society and every silly, frivolous inhibition I have. I figure that the day I turn 18 will be a very nice day to finally do that because I'll be dropping everything from my parents and childhood.
Uncle Ac brought to the conversation a point that is marvelous and makes me even more excited to go insane: If I have lost all of the world's rules of how things supposedly are, I can create much easier, therefore adding more power to my spells. I'm kind of using my own words here, but I think I am transposing what he spoke pretty much correctly (if it's all screwed up, you're welcome to correct me, Ac).
Imagine. If I truly become the insane I wish to be, a table will no longer be real. A piece of popcorn is no longer real. This means that I can say, "Okay, so THIS is how I want things to be. This is now how things ARE." I can create my own universe.

Night of Terror

Okay, so I think I mentioned before how I did a real nice Samhain ritual and how a few days before then, I kept getting little premonitions. Well, truth be told, when those started, right before Samhain, something had changed. I keep seeing things. Out of the corner of my eye. Usually just startling me a tad, they mostly seem benevolent. No biggy, yes? Right. So tonight, Mom and I walked together into downtown, spent some time at the all-night cafe, enjoyed ourselves. Near the end, before we left to walk home (30 min. walk), I got real sleepy and just kind of zoned out. It was about 2:15am or so when we left. All was well as we passed the town clock and I 'pentacled' myself, still fine when we passed Memorial Park. But as we started walking right past that, I saw something. Not a big deal, yet. I'm freaking out as I type this. So we continued. We walked through the parking lot of the Bad Building (a building housing a brotherhood ... it has a demonic feel to the place), crossed The Bridge (not certified safe), started walking the trail. Once we got past the gated boundary of the building's property, I kissed one of my guardian trees as thanks for safety and, at this point, we were enjoying ourselves and chatting. We crossed the street to the next trail and I was showing her where certain things happened in this one dream I had had a while back.

In the dream, Mama and I were walking the trail at night. Our friend, Clara Luna (doggie), was walking with us and we told her to go back because it wasn't safe. Like ... spiritually unsound. She finally ran back to town. We continued and I don't really remember what happened next. Nothing bad, but there was a bad, forboding feeling to it.

So we continue walking ... I keep seeing shadows (you may say, duh[!] it's night[!]), but they move. And Things are popping up and I am FREAKING OUT. We pass this one part of the trail where there's a sewer thing above the ground, raised by this cement pouring. I see Mama and I's shadows pass on it and I grab her arm, because at this point, I almost can't take the fright. By the way, the other shadows aren't Mom's and they aren't mine. I tell her kind of what is going on. It is a BAD feeling. We keep walking and I just want to burst out crying and run as fast as possible outta here. But I keep walking with Mom and trying to shield as best I can. We cross under the bridge for the highway and I am still seeing tons of shadows. As we continue walking, Mom informs me that her entire body, but especially the backs of her legs are getting chills.
We are at the Faerie Park and the faerie mound is in sight. I feel like breaking out in a run. But I walk at a steady pace, instead. Right as we reach a split in the sidewalk and stay on our path, the Thing behind us, following us, stops. I can feel it. It kind of fades as we walk farther away from it. But then a ... almost a probe is sent out from it. I can tell that what is following us now isn't IT, but it is still a conscious watching. I tell Mom to hold on as we reach the faerie mound. I walk up onto it, into the circle of trees of the grove and lean against one tree. I'm just shaking like a leaf, tearing up. But peace pervades right away and I walk between a 'doorway' of trees and the faerie 'shield' stays with me. I can still feel the Thing back there, but I feel safe and confident now.
Mom tells me she felt it, too. We continue and as we cross the next street, the Thing stays behind. I feel safe now. We go home.
Boy, oh boy, was that intense!

So now, I'm sitting here, typing this. I can feel ... the back of my neck is cold. I'm facing away from a window in our laundry room. Th- Okay, nevermind. There ... dammit! Okay, well, there WAS a probe watching me, but I was okay. Then as I went to type that, it went away and when I went to type THAT, it came back. So indecisive, eh? Ha.

So anyhow, I was trying to figure out what could be going on. Two things. There is Something right on that second trail that I can feel all the way here. I felt it last night, but not as strong. Tonight, I'm sure it's stronger because we went into its Territory. Speaking of Territory, it got me to thinking. I just explained to the 'probe' that I realise now, that the trail there is It's Territory at night. Between dawn and dusk. I didn't know before. East of the Mound/Grove ... that's my Territory. West is Its. I will no longer go west of the edge of the grove, unless I'm on the busy road. I'll stay out of the Territory at night. And the Thing is allowed to visit my Territory, but tonight it must go or I will be pissed. Well, it went. We have an understanding now.

All is well.
Blessings and Peace.
I apologize to the Thing.

(Note: Sorry it's a bit long. And I don't want to re-read it tonight for edits, so I'll do that later. If there's a typo or something, I'll fix it soon.)

Something To Do With Water....

I mentioned in Samhain Part III that Ac and Carmin gifted us with some essential oil - Hecate Trivia. I didn't know what it was used for, so I asked Carmin on Facebook.

Answer:
Divination, ritual, appeals specifically to Hecate for guidance, dream and astral work.

Okay, that works. I was excited to use it. Last night was Occult Science class at the bookstore in town and we were talking about the oil. Mom told us all that she rubbed some on her hands because it smelled good and a lot of weird stuff happened to her all day.
We got home and I was really tired, in a funky state of mind. When I went to bed, I decided not to try using the oil, just yet. But a few minutes later, I changed my mind and put a couple drops on my pillow; went to sleep. I had really weird dreams, although that's not weird at all. I always get those. Early in the morning, I woke up to either Sam or Mom in the kitchen. I thought, "There's something to do with water. Water." I chewed on that word as whoever was in the kitchen turned on the faucet. I went back to sleep, content with the little premonition, had more weird dreams and that was that. For now. I'm going to expirement with this oil. This is fun!

Samhain Part III

So it was about 6:30pm. Lovely Carmin was working until 8pm, so I thought I’d bring her some orange-cinnamon rolls, oatmeal chocolate-chip cookies, candy, things like that. But first, I’d call, in case she wasn’t in the mood for visiting. I could just imagine working and someone walks a mile or so to visit me and so I can’t just turn them away, but I do NOT want to be social. So I called and she said that she, Uncle Ac and one of their friends was going to come over after Ac got off work at 9pm. Of course I was all excited! My first Samhain Stop-By visitors! (I had to finish singing along to that song. I can’t sing and type at the same time. Haha … that would be an INTERESTING blogpost to upload. It would make no sense.) Sam and Mama and I hung out and joked around and then Mama got ready for work and left at about 8:20pm. She works the night shift. You probably don’t need to know all these little details….

I started a fresh pot of coffee and put a new pan of orange-cinnamon rolls in the oven. Sam started a fire in our firepit outside and we enjoyed the warmth.



Ac, Carmin and their friend Dan arrived and we exchanged hugs. Ac tried to pop my back when he hugged me, but I had been relaxed all day, as well as having done tai chi in the morning, so it didn’t work real well, haha.
Ac and Carmin presented us with beautiful gifts from their shop: An orange skull candle, 4 pink candles, incense and Hecate Trivia oil. The aroma when I open the box is one of the best things in the multiverse!

So we gave Ac, Carmin and Dan a tour of our house. Ac ‘fixed’ my sewing machine, meaning that I had the bobbin on backward. Whoops! In our hallway/art gallery, Carmin was looking at the pictures and I told her the story of the fly and the spider. You see, we have this piece of art that Sammy and I did together (oil pastel) of a jumping spider leaping at a fly. We messed up on one spot and trying to fix it made it worse. But we decided that the fly has a force-field and the spider doesn’t know about it. But he’ll find out about it, oh yes he will, when he runs into it! Anyway, I learned from Carmin which eraser will be able to fix mistakes like that. We agreed, though, that the fly’s force-field was too cool to fix.

Then we sat around the fire, enjoying roasted marshmallows and hotdogs, cinnamon rolls, coffee and family. We had some wonderful conversations and some really nice silences. Our dog, Stick, really enjoyed the company, of course.




He wasn’t as hyper as he usually is, because it was past his bedtime.

Our friends left at about 1am so they could get sleep for the next day and Sammy and I went inside. We enjoyed each other’s presence for a while and conversed, although in a very short time, I couldn’t keep track of my thoughts. I was exhausted after 33 hours awake and only one hour of sleep after the first 7 hours. So we parted for sleep, which was very deep for me that night. …Morning. Yes, morning.

Blessed Be
Thanks for the photos, Sam

Samhain Part II

This Samhain has been just as interesting as last, in a different sort of way. Let me explain. I’m going to be turning 18 in a couple months, so this was a big Samhain to celebrate for me. I decided that I was going to celebrate it with a ritual, my first Samhain ritual. I know, I know … I’ve been studying and practicing (sorta) for about 11 years, but still. I usually just live my life as lovely as I can, but I decided that THIS year, I oughtta do a ritual. A real one.

So I made sure I was up before midnight. I set up with a blanket on the floor over a heater (comforts, ya know), a pentacle drawn with blue pencil underneath that. I had some good stories to read, a sort of lullaby chant to sing, my wand, Mama’s tarot cards, a full purse, a bookmark….
And last, but not least, I had my steaming cup of mint hot cocoa. I stood and began calling the directions … and had to pee. I had 3 minutes before midnight, but I made it! So I stood and began calling the directions. I faced West with my wand and said, “I call upon the North…. Wait.” Lol, as usual, I said the wrong thing. I usually do that sort of thing. After I finished calling the correct directions and everything else, I sat down on the heater so my butt would warm up. I read a bit from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, a few stories from books ‘Sun Lore’ and ‘Moon Lore’, I stated what I wanted to happen in the next year. I did a wonderful tarot reading, and then Stick came into my circle and climbed into my lap for a story (Mary Margaret’s Tree). He loved it and he kept trying to lick my chin and he couldn‘t keep his back leg or his tail still.
Then I opened the circle and took my time (hours) getting ready for the Samhain Stop-By.

The house was clean-er (the dash is to put emphasis on the ‘er‘), all was ready.

I kept checking my emails, facebook, twitter, myspace, in case anyone had any questions or anything. And it was amazing how depressed people were, especially compared to myself. Because I see Samhain as representing new beginnings, it seemed to me that the majority of the people who posted a new status were going to have a terrible year.

Now, most of the things that happened to these people were circumstantial, however there is always an abundance of ways to be un-bothered about it.
Here is an example. One of my sisters, Leyla (as you can see from her post below this one), was in parental house arrest. That is just bullshit. Because she felt anger, a human emotion. Because she no longer wants to be under someone else’s control. I know that she is mature enough to make decisions for herself, but she is forced to be under her parents’ control. So she felt anger and mentioned that she no longer wants to live in that house. Now she is grounded. Boy, is that a good way to make her want to live there! Clever people.
Although she was bothered about it, she still didn’t spend the day sulking and being muddy. She was active and found ways to deal with it and she had a pretty good Samhain, anyway.
Then there are those people who just start sinking in the quicksand of despair. But, continuing with the metaphor of quicksand, if they would only wait and be patient, the (let’s add another metaphor, shall we?) wheel of life will turn again. The sun will come out and dry the mud and you can just brush it off of yourself. Patience and it will all be alright.

Speaking of patience, this was a long post. Thank you for having the patience to wait for Part II and actually read it when it appeared. Part III in a very short while.

I love you.

Bad Party Luck or No Alcohol Equals No Guests?

So I was joking with Sammy and Mama tonight about how it is very likely that no one will come over for the Samhain Stop-By on Saturday. Because it seems like whenever any of us plans a party or get-together, no one can make it or they're all busy or they're not busy and they just don't come over.

When people actually get themselves to visit, they absolutely love it and talk about how lovely and peaceful and wonderful it is here with us. So why don't they come more often?

Well, we noticed that the only two times when everyone seemed to show up was when either someone brought alcohol or we had bought some beers or wine or something for the guests. You see, Sam hates the taste of alcohol, I don't much like it, either. Mama is allergic. A sip of beer makes her woozy. So we don't often have alcohol. Not only that, we don't see the point in drinking fermented stuff that is unhealthy for you.

Now ... if this is true, that people will only go to parties when there is alcohol, that is really very stupid. And I don't hate to say that. Drunk people act like idiots and what they find funny is only funny to those who are drunk (or stoned ... same thing there). People who are just nervous or socially uptight without something to focus on, without something to relax them, should know that if they are creative, they can relax and enjoy themselves without alcohol. Hell, at our house, if you're needing something to relax, we'll set you up with Unwind tea and you can even take a warm bubble bath for all we care.

Anyway, I could go on about how retarded (and I mean that by the definition of the word) only going to parties with alcohol is, but I would be repeating myself with different words. So what I'm going to say now is this:

At our house, the atmosphere is usually so peaceful that there is no way to be uptight after a few minutes. We have really good energy here. Not only that, but there is little-to-no friction between Sam, Mama and I. We are friends more than we're blood-family. As a result, there is no familial tension in our house. We accept you for who you are in the stage of life you're in, so there is no need to worry about what we'll think. But please, don't avoid our get-togethers like the plague just because we don't serve a drug. Be aware. On a blessed night such as Samhain, I'd think that you'd want to be aware enough to see any fairies or spirits that come a-callin' ... and remember them the next day, as well. I know I do. And I know that I want to be clear-headed on a very holy night like that one is.

Blessed Be

Samhain Stop-By

Okay, so I have nothing going for Samhain. I'm gonna get dressed up and probably go trick-or-treating (I'll tell you the story of why in my Samhain blogpost), but other than that there's not much.
So I'm opening my house. Well, technically, it's Mama and Sammy and I's house. But we love visitors and people love our house ("It's so peaceful!") but they never come by. Which is annoying. When we invite someone to stop by, we mean that. But they don't get it.

Back to what I was saying! Folks in Colorado can come by after 10am on October 31st. After midnight, I'd like to go to sleep, though. You can just stop by sometime between those hours or stay and visit for however long. We'll have tea water and coffee. Bring a snack or your favorite kind of tea, if you want. Or not. Just bring yourself.

If it's not too wet and if I'm (or Sam, if he's not working) not too lazy, there might be a fire in the firepit.
We do have a dog who is very hyper. His name is Stick, and he is a Pootalian. No joke. That's a new breed, which is made from Miniature Poodle and Italian Greyhound. So he's a hyper lap dog. When you walk through the gate, he'll jump up and snap his teeth in your face, but don't be scared. He just likes the sound. He would NEVER bite someone (heavens-to-Betsy, no)!

So for directions or answers to any questions, email me at fearofsanity@gmail.com
I check my email every day, so you'll get a reply directly. OR! If you have my phone number, you are welcome to give me a call, as well.

Blessings and Belches

Meet Another Fajr Witch

After each blogpost from here on out, look to see who wrote it at the bottom. I have a new contributor! My lovely sister, Leyla Fajr, is a new Wiccan/Witch/Pagan/Chick ... well, I mean she's not a spring 'chick', but um. You know what I mean.

Much love!

So I need to give a shoutout to my surrogate Uncle Azzerac, and his lovely partner, Carmin.
They own an online Premium Occult Supplies store, Lodestone & Lady's Mantle. They also hold Occult Science classes at a local bookstore and a weekly Sunday Witch 'n Bitch at a local cafe (during the cold season. Summer, there is hiking).

So I was reading their latest blogpost. And I decided to give a shoutout to John Unger, as well.
Anyone who reads this, please pass this on or buy one of his beautiful pieces of work to help him out in his case.

Hugs

Arguments!

Wow, you know, it is amazing how people can claim to follow a loving religion and just spend so much time arguing about how they're right and you're wrong. You may be thinking that I'm talking about Christians, but I'm also talking about the so-called Pagans. 


I have been listening to some really lovely Pagan music on YouTube, lately. In the comments for a good many of the videos, everyone was blessing each other and being very loving and such. But the more videos I watched, the more comments I found (sometimes 2000 comments for one video) that were just arguments.


This is really stupid, my brothers and sisters. What is this? Someone comes and makes an ignorant comment about how they feel that we're all devil-worshipers and sure you can point this person toward truth, but leave it at that! There is no NEED to keep commenting and commenting and trying to convince them. You're not going to change how they think and how they feel, okay? And then, when you are trying to convince that we are loving, you start being quite rude and insulting. Give us a good name. Nice.


So I went to this one video where this was happening and decided to do a little experiment. I was going to say something that I hoped would 1) take the wind out of the Christian's sails and 2) show my brothers and sisters that we should be peaceful.


I started with something that's been said before, as an introduction:


"You know what I think? I think this is really very silly! No matter what TheWiccanRaven or cfactsrfacts or Aamria or Gandalf4173 or AstralMelody or USBOwl says, it will make no difference. Do you pagans really think that arguing the point will change the way christians think? I hope you have the sense to see otherwise. And do you christians really think that arguing YOUR point will change the way PAGANS think? I certainly hope you have the sense to see otherwise, as well. Be peaceful, loves!"


This got a thumbs up.
The Christian that everyone was arguing with replied to this:


"I do not argue...I tell the truth!
Jesus is Lord the true and living God.
It is up to you to take of the blinders and see His as the truth He is before it is to late.
And yes I know that what I do on here and other sites makes a difference...I got the emails to prove how many lives Jesus changes!
Just shows that Jesus is much bigger then satan and his demons.
God Bless!"


This got two thumbs down.
And so I replied:


":) I agree that Jesus is much bigger than evil, hun. Love always survives in the end (hopefully, heh). May your God bless you and Jesus watch over you, lovely."


Two thumbs down.
Our Christian friend said nothing else to me, but it seems that our Pagan friends didn't like what I said. Why is this? I feel it is fascinating how we can be so damn loving to some people. But when one of us is in an argument and someone else comes and difuses the situation, it just makes ya so mad!


I don't believe in God. I think Jesus was just a typical enlightened being many years ago. I'm not a Christian. However, this is how he feels, so I hope that his belief in God will bless him. Let him believe what he wishes, same as we will believe what we wish.


Blessed Be to All

Welcome!

If you have any experience at all with my other blog, Miscellaneous Insanities, you know full well that I am missing something up in the attic. Or maybe there's too much stuff up in there, who knows. Well, this new blog of mine is more the style of sane witcheries. Ya know, normal stuff? Haha, right.

Here, I'll be writing posts that have anything to do with Witchcraft, Paganism, Wicca, Earth Religions, etc., so on and so forth, ad nauseum!

Please note that I may be writing many of these posts after normal people go to sleep, which means that either I'll have some real insights (especially if I'm half asleep. Don't ask, I don't know how it happens) or what I have to say will make absolutely no sense, whatsoever.

Feel free to comment and tell me I'm insane. Although, if you say that, it'll be a boost to my ego. Keep in mind, please, that if you say something in comments that is negative or rude or something, I might just say something that makes no sense or something that takes the wind out of your sails. Or I might just delete your comment, if I really feel like it.

May the Deity of your choice, if you believe in any, bless you, if you so wish to be blessed!