Opinions From 17 Years of Living In This Body

These are my opinions as of 01/07/2010, my 18th birthday. I'll be posting my opinions on different topics of life throughout the year. Note that I don't mind your disagreement, though you will not convince me of anything otherwise. This means that any comments that try to get me to 'understand the truth' will be deleted. It would be a waste of your time to type it all out. These are my opinions; you are not required in my book to share them.
You may or may not wish to read this; you may or may not hate me after.
That is your decision. Choose wisely. Or not; that is also your decision.
I will go by topic just so I don’t type in circles. If you read this and want me to type out my opinions of you, I will. It could be painful for you, but maybe it would help you face things. Maybe it would show you how wrong I am.

A good topic to start with is PARENTING AND CHILDREN, as I am legally moving away from this….

Fucking a young woman and getting her pregnant with your hormones does not give you the right to demand respect from anyone. Your actions are not respectable nor are they respectful.
If you can be impatient at all at any time, you should not be a parent. It would end in much pain for everyone.
If you are a teacher or wish to be a teacher, you should not be a parent.
Teachers think they are teachers, yet they know not and only have a large ego. ‘Life Experience and Wisdom’ is bullshit, as people go through many lives. An infant could have more life experience than you have and you wouldn’t know it unless you look in their eyes and see they are much wiser than you could hope to be at this time.
Do not raise your child up in religion; it may not be the truth. Let them find the truth and their own path in their own time.

Kahlil Gibran, “AND a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows form which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”

For those who were raised as children, your parents are but children themselves. They were ‘raised and brought up right’ and they are stuck. They deserve pity and love. Be bitter if you must, but when you are done, look at them in a new light and see just how terrified they are in life, see how much they are children trying to handle responsibilities of life.
For those who are raising their children, look at your children in a new light, as well. See how much your actions and reactions are affecting them, either in a positive or negative way. A lot of parents who try their best ruin their children’s lives. And a lot of parents trying to ruin their children’s lives turn out wonderful people. Just be aware.

Night of Terror

Okay, so I think I mentioned before how I did a real nice Samhain ritual and how a few days before then, I kept getting little premonitions. Well, truth be told, when those started, right before Samhain, something had changed. I keep seeing things. Out of the corner of my eye. Usually just startling me a tad, they mostly seem benevolent. No biggy, yes? Right. So tonight, Mom and I walked together into downtown, spent some time at the all-night cafe, enjoyed ourselves. Near the end, before we left to walk home (30 min. walk), I got real sleepy and just kind of zoned out. It was about 2:15am or so when we left. All was well as we passed the town clock and I 'pentacled' myself, still fine when we passed Memorial Park. But as we started walking right past that, I saw something. Not a big deal, yet. I'm freaking out as I type this. So we continued. We walked through the parking lot of the Bad Building (a building housing a brotherhood ... it has a demonic feel to the place), crossed The Bridge (not certified safe), started walking the trail. Once we got past the gated boundary of the building's property, I kissed one of my guardian trees as thanks for safety and, at this point, we were enjoying ourselves and chatting. We crossed the street to the next trail and I was showing her where certain things happened in this one dream I had had a while back.

In the dream, Mama and I were walking the trail at night. Our friend, Clara Luna (doggie), was walking with us and we told her to go back because it wasn't safe. Like ... spiritually unsound. She finally ran back to town. We continued and I don't really remember what happened next. Nothing bad, but there was a bad, forboding feeling to it.

So we continue walking ... I keep seeing shadows (you may say, duh[!] it's night[!]), but they move. And Things are popping up and I am FREAKING OUT. We pass this one part of the trail where there's a sewer thing above the ground, raised by this cement pouring. I see Mama and I's shadows pass on it and I grab her arm, because at this point, I almost can't take the fright. By the way, the other shadows aren't Mom's and they aren't mine. I tell her kind of what is going on. It is a BAD feeling. We keep walking and I just want to burst out crying and run as fast as possible outta here. But I keep walking with Mom and trying to shield as best I can. We cross under the bridge for the highway and I am still seeing tons of shadows. As we continue walking, Mom informs me that her entire body, but especially the backs of her legs are getting chills.
We are at the Faerie Park and the faerie mound is in sight. I feel like breaking out in a run. But I walk at a steady pace, instead. Right as we reach a split in the sidewalk and stay on our path, the Thing behind us, following us, stops. I can feel it. It kind of fades as we walk farther away from it. But then a ... almost a probe is sent out from it. I can tell that what is following us now isn't IT, but it is still a conscious watching. I tell Mom to hold on as we reach the faerie mound. I walk up onto it, into the circle of trees of the grove and lean against one tree. I'm just shaking like a leaf, tearing up. But peace pervades right away and I walk between a 'doorway' of trees and the faerie 'shield' stays with me. I can still feel the Thing back there, but I feel safe and confident now.
Mom tells me she felt it, too. We continue and as we cross the next street, the Thing stays behind. I feel safe now. We go home.
Boy, oh boy, was that intense!

So now, I'm sitting here, typing this. I can feel ... the back of my neck is cold. I'm facing away from a window in our laundry room. Th- Okay, nevermind. There ... dammit! Okay, well, there WAS a probe watching me, but I was okay. Then as I went to type that, it went away and when I went to type THAT, it came back. So indecisive, eh? Ha.

So anyhow, I was trying to figure out what could be going on. Two things. There is Something right on that second trail that I can feel all the way here. I felt it last night, but not as strong. Tonight, I'm sure it's stronger because we went into its Territory. Speaking of Territory, it got me to thinking. I just explained to the 'probe' that I realise now, that the trail there is It's Territory at night. Between dawn and dusk. I didn't know before. East of the Mound/Grove ... that's my Territory. West is Its. I will no longer go west of the edge of the grove, unless I'm on the busy road. I'll stay out of the Territory at night. And the Thing is allowed to visit my Territory, but tonight it must go or I will be pissed. Well, it went. We have an understanding now.

All is well.
Blessings and Peace.
I apologize to the Thing.

(Note: Sorry it's a bit long. And I don't want to re-read it tonight for edits, so I'll do that later. If there's a typo or something, I'll fix it soon.)

Samhain Part II

This Samhain has been just as interesting as last, in a different sort of way. Let me explain. I’m going to be turning 18 in a couple months, so this was a big Samhain to celebrate for me. I decided that I was going to celebrate it with a ritual, my first Samhain ritual. I know, I know … I’ve been studying and practicing (sorta) for about 11 years, but still. I usually just live my life as lovely as I can, but I decided that THIS year, I oughtta do a ritual. A real one.

So I made sure I was up before midnight. I set up with a blanket on the floor over a heater (comforts, ya know), a pentacle drawn with blue pencil underneath that. I had some good stories to read, a sort of lullaby chant to sing, my wand, Mama’s tarot cards, a full purse, a bookmark….
And last, but not least, I had my steaming cup of mint hot cocoa. I stood and began calling the directions … and had to pee. I had 3 minutes before midnight, but I made it! So I stood and began calling the directions. I faced West with my wand and said, “I call upon the North…. Wait.” Lol, as usual, I said the wrong thing. I usually do that sort of thing. After I finished calling the correct directions and everything else, I sat down on the heater so my butt would warm up. I read a bit from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, a few stories from books ‘Sun Lore’ and ‘Moon Lore’, I stated what I wanted to happen in the next year. I did a wonderful tarot reading, and then Stick came into my circle and climbed into my lap for a story (Mary Margaret’s Tree). He loved it and he kept trying to lick my chin and he couldn‘t keep his back leg or his tail still.
Then I opened the circle and took my time (hours) getting ready for the Samhain Stop-By.

The house was clean-er (the dash is to put emphasis on the ‘er‘), all was ready.

I kept checking my emails, facebook, twitter, myspace, in case anyone had any questions or anything. And it was amazing how depressed people were, especially compared to myself. Because I see Samhain as representing new beginnings, it seemed to me that the majority of the people who posted a new status were going to have a terrible year.

Now, most of the things that happened to these people were circumstantial, however there is always an abundance of ways to be un-bothered about it.
Here is an example. One of my sisters, Leyla (as you can see from her post below this one), was in parental house arrest. That is just bullshit. Because she felt anger, a human emotion. Because she no longer wants to be under someone else’s control. I know that she is mature enough to make decisions for herself, but she is forced to be under her parents’ control. So she felt anger and mentioned that she no longer wants to live in that house. Now she is grounded. Boy, is that a good way to make her want to live there! Clever people.
Although she was bothered about it, she still didn’t spend the day sulking and being muddy. She was active and found ways to deal with it and she had a pretty good Samhain, anyway.
Then there are those people who just start sinking in the quicksand of despair. But, continuing with the metaphor of quicksand, if they would only wait and be patient, the (let’s add another metaphor, shall we?) wheel of life will turn again. The sun will come out and dry the mud and you can just brush it off of yourself. Patience and it will all be alright.

Speaking of patience, this was a long post. Thank you for having the patience to wait for Part II and actually read it when it appeared. Part III in a very short while.

I love you.

Bad Party Luck or No Alcohol Equals No Guests?

So I was joking with Sammy and Mama tonight about how it is very likely that no one will come over for the Samhain Stop-By on Saturday. Because it seems like whenever any of us plans a party or get-together, no one can make it or they're all busy or they're not busy and they just don't come over.

When people actually get themselves to visit, they absolutely love it and talk about how lovely and peaceful and wonderful it is here with us. So why don't they come more often?

Well, we noticed that the only two times when everyone seemed to show up was when either someone brought alcohol or we had bought some beers or wine or something for the guests. You see, Sam hates the taste of alcohol, I don't much like it, either. Mama is allergic. A sip of beer makes her woozy. So we don't often have alcohol. Not only that, we don't see the point in drinking fermented stuff that is unhealthy for you.

Now ... if this is true, that people will only go to parties when there is alcohol, that is really very stupid. And I don't hate to say that. Drunk people act like idiots and what they find funny is only funny to those who are drunk (or stoned ... same thing there). People who are just nervous or socially uptight without something to focus on, without something to relax them, should know that if they are creative, they can relax and enjoy themselves without alcohol. Hell, at our house, if you're needing something to relax, we'll set you up with Unwind tea and you can even take a warm bubble bath for all we care.

Anyway, I could go on about how retarded (and I mean that by the definition of the word) only going to parties with alcohol is, but I would be repeating myself with different words. So what I'm going to say now is this:

At our house, the atmosphere is usually so peaceful that there is no way to be uptight after a few minutes. We have really good energy here. Not only that, but there is little-to-no friction between Sam, Mama and I. We are friends more than we're blood-family. As a result, there is no familial tension in our house. We accept you for who you are in the stage of life you're in, so there is no need to worry about what we'll think. But please, don't avoid our get-togethers like the plague just because we don't serve a drug. Be aware. On a blessed night such as Samhain, I'd think that you'd want to be aware enough to see any fairies or spirits that come a-callin' ... and remember them the next day, as well. I know I do. And I know that I want to be clear-headed on a very holy night like that one is.

Blessed Be

Arguments!

Wow, you know, it is amazing how people can claim to follow a loving religion and just spend so much time arguing about how they're right and you're wrong. You may be thinking that I'm talking about Christians, but I'm also talking about the so-called Pagans. 


I have been listening to some really lovely Pagan music on YouTube, lately. In the comments for a good many of the videos, everyone was blessing each other and being very loving and such. But the more videos I watched, the more comments I found (sometimes 2000 comments for one video) that were just arguments.


This is really stupid, my brothers and sisters. What is this? Someone comes and makes an ignorant comment about how they feel that we're all devil-worshipers and sure you can point this person toward truth, but leave it at that! There is no NEED to keep commenting and commenting and trying to convince them. You're not going to change how they think and how they feel, okay? And then, when you are trying to convince that we are loving, you start being quite rude and insulting. Give us a good name. Nice.


So I went to this one video where this was happening and decided to do a little experiment. I was going to say something that I hoped would 1) take the wind out of the Christian's sails and 2) show my brothers and sisters that we should be peaceful.


I started with something that's been said before, as an introduction:


"You know what I think? I think this is really very silly! No matter what TheWiccanRaven or cfactsrfacts or Aamria or Gandalf4173 or AstralMelody or USBOwl says, it will make no difference. Do you pagans really think that arguing the point will change the way christians think? I hope you have the sense to see otherwise. And do you christians really think that arguing YOUR point will change the way PAGANS think? I certainly hope you have the sense to see otherwise, as well. Be peaceful, loves!"


This got a thumbs up.
The Christian that everyone was arguing with replied to this:


"I do not argue...I tell the truth!
Jesus is Lord the true and living God.
It is up to you to take of the blinders and see His as the truth He is before it is to late.
And yes I know that what I do on here and other sites makes a difference...I got the emails to prove how many lives Jesus changes!
Just shows that Jesus is much bigger then satan and his demons.
God Bless!"


This got two thumbs down.
And so I replied:


":) I agree that Jesus is much bigger than evil, hun. Love always survives in the end (hopefully, heh). May your God bless you and Jesus watch over you, lovely."


Two thumbs down.
Our Christian friend said nothing else to me, but it seems that our Pagan friends didn't like what I said. Why is this? I feel it is fascinating how we can be so damn loving to some people. But when one of us is in an argument and someone else comes and difuses the situation, it just makes ya so mad!


I don't believe in God. I think Jesus was just a typical enlightened being many years ago. I'm not a Christian. However, this is how he feels, so I hope that his belief in God will bless him. Let him believe what he wishes, same as we will believe what we wish.


Blessed Be to All